Worried Thoughts Keeping me Up at Night

Thoughts invade my mind at times like a storm in my brain where there is no shelter. No place to hide. No place to keep out of the downpour. These thoughts keep me up at night and awake in the early hours of morning when the rest of the world is slumbering away. They race through my mind bounce off the wall inside creating havoc and destruction. I’ve tried to put them back in the box the spring from but the will not go away quietly. It takes hours to round up all these thoughts and pack them back away. Unfortunately, I haven’t trained my subconscious on how to keep them under lock and key as I’m sleeping and the next night they emerge again demanding my attention as the rest of the world is quiet. I’m considering a bigger lock for my box. I’m considering ways to keep these things buried for longer. The things I don’t want to deal with. The things I don’t want to think about. The things I don’t want to worry about. Because there are so many things. These thoughts they take me hostage and offer no reward, no ransom. I wrestle them with no end in sight not solutions to these problems. How does one stop the thoughts that keep coming and refuse to be quiet? I know they are getting the best of me and yet I’m powerless to confine them and restrain them.

Dreaming of Innocent Eyes

Terrified of waking up and never gazing into a pair of innocent crystal blue eyes

Horrified that one day there will never be a you

My heart longs to see your face to know what you could be

My mind has constructed you in a million ways

Sometimes you are running toward me with open arms and a mess of blonde waves smiling

Sometimes you are climbing into my lap and resting your head on my shoulder begging for a bedtime story

I’ve seen you in my dreams

I’ve memorized the sound of your heartbeat

Yet here I am without you

My soul is growing weary without you here

My heart is heavy with the wonder of when or if you will exist

Afraid that I may never get to see those dimples in your smile

Terrified of waking up and knowing you will only ever been a dream

Restrain Me

push me down

hold me under the water

until i can no longer breathe

let me float away from this place

help me escape this fate

tie me up

hold me still

until i can no longer flee

let me turn to stone

help me remain

hoist me up

dangle me by my feet

until i no longer fear falling

let me welcome the fall

help me fly away

pin me down

hold me until I finish falling apart

until all misery is vanquished

let me break free

help me remain

Until I can no longer remain restrained